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Philippe Garmy's avatar

Many moons ago I happily chased the American dream across the pond, driven by adventure, opportunity and a willingness to do my very best to succeed...the stuffy, tired and static European old world of the late 70's simply paled in comparison to the new promised land of milk and honey, the USA. California dreamin' was to be a dream come true...several years and degrees later, I eventually settled down and married a bonafide cowgirl from Oklahoma and helped raise six lovely and gifted children, all blessedly schooled in private Catholic institutions. The very model of a success story, some would have said...Today, I'm just not so sure. Truth to tell, I sometimes wonder and pray what I could have done differently to keep it all together....To date, all our children are scattered across the vast expanse of the USA, from the Pacific west coast to the Atlantic east coast...all successful urban professionals, comfortable and fiercely independent. Only our eldest son(a tenured professor) in California is married, with a lovely Mexican wife, helping raise two joyful children. She stepped away from her career as an architect and never looked back to become a full-time mum. They are a delight to be around and I am so proud of how active they are with their Catholic Church community and outreach. Their lives are full, busy and blessed with purpose, definition and meaning. Living on one salary has been a challenge at times for them, but you can see they make it work. Their home is often a scattered mess of children's toys and bric-a-brac on the floor, the pitter-patter of children running amok, yet always with the living and abundant presence of joy. Sadly, the remaining bunch are much too attached to their careers, making money, creature comforts and other silly, pleasurable but pointless pursuits....they have all emphatically professed no interest whatsoever in getting married, having children and raising a family. It's too much of a bother and burden for them, they say, as it would cramp their already active lifestyle. They love their possessions, their collectibles, their trips, their investments, their crap....and all have lost or let go of their faith life....and it sorrowfully shows to a fault. It is hard to see ones children lost in trivial and material pursuits that power their minds, hearts and souls far from the prayers and desires we had hoped for them all over a lifetime. They are free to do so. Yet we are also gladdened by the answer to the many prayers over the years with our eldest son and his family. We travel often to visit our kids, especially our grandchildren, as we retired 5+ years ago and now live in France, close to my ageing family. Parenting is indeed a struggle and a joy. Embrace the journey and be a light of love, hope and determination.

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Gwindor's avatar

Yeah, I think this is correct. If even somewhere like Iran can't keep above replacement then it certainly looks like top-level conservative policies aren't the most effective thing driving fertility choices. That said, I think Orban's efforts are more impressive than sometimes portrayed - moving the needle upward is very difficult, and to get back to 1.6 in a decade or so isn't bad. Would be interesting to see if it continues. Hovering just under 2 implies a relatively stately population decline, where Korea's rates look very scary indeed.

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